Parents who adopted in the fifties, sixties and early seventies, had been told that adoption details were secret and they believed this would always be. When records were opened up, some adoptive parents felt "the rules had been changed." They worried and wondered whether they would lose their child to birth family.
Parents whose children choose to search describe feeling anxious that their child's contact with their birth family might jeopardise their own relationship with them and may strain or even break up family relationships. They also raise concerns about not being sure about what they can do to support their child during the process wondering how to offer their support. Sometimes, the adopted person's desire to search has parents questioning: Is our child satisfied with us? Does she really love us? Where will we 'fit' in this new relationship?
Adoptive parents can feel concerned that their son or daughter may be hurt by contact. As with any parent they feel a strong need to be protective. This same desire can also be seen when adopted people choose not to tell parents they are searching. This can be another source of hurt and misunderstanding between parents and children.
More recently, as adoptive parents have been better informed of the long term effect of early separation in terms of attachment and trauma, they are aware of the need for early therapeutic intervention.arcs is there to work with families in building attachment relationships, exploring their adoption story, thinking about cultural history and considering contact with birth parents.